Why don't we say what we mean?

Disclaimer: this is probably not going to be a funny blog.

So lately I have found myself catching up with people I haven't talked to in a while (for one reason or another) and then I find myself faced with the imminent inquiry. That overwhelmingly vague yet personal question that never fails to comes up: How are you?

But does that person care to hear an honest answer? I've been thinking a lot about that. How often do we find ourselves walking past somebody we know and in passing, we smile and say with [false?] enthusiasm, "Hi! How are are you?" or "Hey! How's it going?" But we keep walking, don't we? We have a tendency to "keep walking" in a conversation as well. A coworker or friend from school will say good morning and ask how we're doing today and we automatically respond with, "Fine" or "Good" or any variation thereof. Then we continue the conversation by describing exactly why we're not fine:
"Man, I have this splitting headache..."
"Ugh I was up so late last night. My kids are sick..."
"I'm nervous about this test tomorrow.."
"My roommate is still acting like the Queen of Sheba..."
"My boyfriend and I got in another fight last night..."
"I think I have herpes..."

Why do we bother with the "Fine" statement to begin with? Mostly, it's a mindless response to a mindless question. But sometimes we revert to the "Fine" because it's been a long time since our last communication with that person and rather than explain everything that has happened in the past two years or so, you just summarize with a simple "I'm doing well," putting on a front in a way. I guess the hard part is determining the sincerity with which the how are you is presented so that we don't miss an opportunity to respond accordingly, to show our friends that we trust them, and to allow them to catch a little glimpse into our lives.

Another example:
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok."

It's ok?! So they can do it again and that would be alright with you?
Yea, I didn't think so.

We've become overly an apologetic people, always afraid of offending, always watching what we say, afraid of being politically incorrect or the dreaded i-word: intolerant. I won't even get started on this topic. I don't have the time and neither do you.

I guess the whole point of this rambling was to explain that I've been trying to overcome these poor communication incidents that have become the social norm.

So go ahead, ask me how I've been; tell me you're sorry.



I dare you.






What I should be doing: fastrack Physics 105, finding my floor, finding a job, finding myself
What I'm listening to: Ana Nalick, Sufjan Stevens, Rocky Votolato, Stars

Work in Progress- Something for Veronica to Read

It's been a big summer.

Lots of changes.

I don't even know where to begin.

Words are failing me right now.

I guess I could cheat and raise my word count by the thousands by using pictures...

Yes, that is what I will do.

TRANSPORTATION
OLD:
[Dora]
"Dora," the Explorer -born: 2000

NEW:
"Ruby Sue" -born: 1986

HOUSE
OLD:
NEW:

HAIR
OLD:

NEW:

(I look sickly. But my hair looks good...)


SCHOOL

OLD:





















NEW:
[picture in scrubs]

I want to write a new blog.

But alas, I have school in the morning and must go to bed.

Perhaps another day.




♥

Si yo fuera una mosaic...

In studying for finals, naturally I find ways to stall... like making this fun little mosaic.
Thanks to Kari for the idea.


want to make one of your own?

step 1: go to flickr.com
setp 2: in another window open http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
step 3: choose 4 columns, 3 rows
step 4: answer the following questions in the search bar of flicker. pick your favorite one on the first page and paste it into your mosaic

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your nickname.



Well that was fun.
Back to studying for Spanish and Brother Ludlow's New Testament final.
Goodnight.




What I should be doing: finding an apartment for next year, reading La Dama Del Alba
What I'm listening to: The Eagles, Secondhand Serenade, Phantom Planet, and Journey
What I wish I was doing: sleeping. or eating angel food cake...

Where Have You Been All My Life?

Just a quick photo review to offer you a taste of what's been going on in my life...

Enjoy!

Rogers 95 2006-2007. 5/6
Dinner at the creamery with Jess before she went into the MTC.

Halloween. After years of dreaming, I finally went as Quailman!

Baloo "Mushface" Ludlow.
October 1999-November 2008.

New Years' Eve.
Chilling with the floats before the Rose Parade.

Everyone spends Valentine's Day at Cabelas, right?

Check out that spandex!
All dressed up and ready for Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer in concert.

I'm not old enough to be 21.

But I went to Vegas anyway.

So to prove my immaturity, I made a Hannah Montana blanket,
...and tied the scraps around my head.

Well, that's all I can think of for now...
Maybe I'll secretly upload more later.
Hasta luego!


What I should be doing: O-Chem problem set, Literary analysis in Spanish
What I'm Listening to: Flo-Rider, Death Cab For Cutie, The Doors, and Miley Cyrus
What I wish I was doing: eating more of that delicious homemade bread and honey butter from FHE at Brother Brinkerhoff's...

Quizzical

So I'm just having a major middle school flashback and doing online quizzes. Here were some fun ones:

What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is gluttonous. If you like something, you're going back for seconds... no matter how full you are! You have a total sweet tooth. When you can get away with it, you like to have dessert before dinner! Your taste in food tends to be quite eclectic and wide. You are an adventurous eater, and you like many types of cuisines. You are probably a fairly normal, upper middle class person. You don't rock the boat too often. You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you. Precise and controlled, you can be a bit anal retentive when it comes to how you like things. You're definitely a perfectionist.

What Does Your Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Say About You?

What Your Fridge Says About You

You like to be surrounded by things you love. You aren't exactly greedy, but you can be materialistic at times. You are not careful with your money. In fact, you rarely think about how much you are spending. You don't tend to be a very adventurous person, but you do surprise everyone now and then. You have a bit of a wild side. You try to be responsible, but you don't always succeed. Your heart is in the right place though. You are likely single - and spending many nights alone at home.

What Do the Contents of Your Refrigerator Say About You?

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

What I'm supposed to be doing: studying for my Spanish test tomorrow, preparing for my molecular biology lab tomorrow
What I'm listening to: Fleetwood Mac, Led Zeppelin, Sean Kingston
What I wish I was doing: watching School of Rock or the end of tonight's Top Model...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

So a couple weeks ago I did something pretty awesome: I went to the library.

I had forgotten about that library smell, of book glue and dust. It's disgusting and sicky sweet, but I like it. I hadn't been there in so long and I was positive that anyone watching me would know that immediately. I was afraid that they would think that I'm illiterate. "I read! It's just usually something from my extensive home library," I thought defiantly as my eyes darted about the aisles of books at the other library-goers, "It's just usually Harry Potter..." Eventually, after pretending I knew exactly what I was doing, I located the fiction section and proceeded to browse for any of the long list of books I had been wanting to read. Finally, I found a solitary copy of "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath and snatched it greedily from the shelf. Success! I then wandered back toward the front to check it out, and on the way I spied something that intrigued me along the south wall: a used book sale! All good sense told me that I probably wouldn't find anything, and as i began to casually peruse the shelves, I seemed to be right. Stacks of tacky romance novels and Mary Higgins Clark mysteries that I only read at the airport sat before me, yet I had this inexplicable desire to find something interesting. I was drawn to these tomes against my nagging hunger (I was on my lunch break) and I searched a little more diligently. Finally, I was rewarded when I stumbled across this little treasure, for only one dollar: "Throw Like a Girl- stories" by Jean Thompson.


I knew I was going to like it right away so now I headed to the checkout (for reals) and opted for the electronic checkout so that I wouldn't have to answer any awkward questions about where I had been all these years. I procured my library card, that I had found while cleaning my room, yellowed and cracked with my eleven-year-old face staring vacantly out of its frame, and scanned the bar code. "NOPE!" beeped the checkout machine, "Invalid entry. Please see front desk for assistance." Dang! I was going to have to face the humans after all. I was cut off at the pass by a large group of girls who looked to be about 9. I stepped back and tried to remain composed and calm, like I did this everyday. I didn't want the little girls in on my secret. Once it was my turn I approached the desk and handed my card to the lady. I waited with bated breath as she scanned it and I was rewarded, once again, with the beep that blared "NOPE!" "It seems you are no longer in our system," smiled the sympathetic librarian. She directed me to the other side where I filled out an application, had my picture taken, and was presented with a brand new library card. =] How embarrassing though; the school librarian's daughter doesn't have a current library card because she doesn't read. So awkward.

Welp, now I am officially literate and I look forward to my next library adventure with a little more confidence.

♥