Why don't we say what we mean?

Disclaimer: this is probably not going to be a funny blog.

So lately I have found myself catching up with people I haven't talked to in a while (for one reason or another) and then I find myself faced with the imminent inquiry. That overwhelmingly vague yet personal question that never fails to comes up: How are you?

But does that person care to hear an honest answer? I've been thinking a lot about that. How often do we find ourselves walking past somebody we know and in passing, we smile and say with [false?] enthusiasm, "Hi! How are are you?" or "Hey! How's it going?" But we keep walking, don't we? We have a tendency to "keep walking" in a conversation as well. A coworker or friend from school will say good morning and ask how we're doing today and we automatically respond with, "Fine" or "Good" or any variation thereof. Then we continue the conversation by describing exactly why we're not fine:
"Man, I have this splitting headache..."
"Ugh I was up so late last night. My kids are sick..."
"I'm nervous about this test tomorrow.."
"My roommate is still acting like the Queen of Sheba..."
"My boyfriend and I got in another fight last night..."
"I think I have herpes..."

Why do we bother with the "Fine" statement to begin with? Mostly, it's a mindless response to a mindless question. But sometimes we revert to the "Fine" because it's been a long time since our last communication with that person and rather than explain everything that has happened in the past two years or so, you just summarize with a simple "I'm doing well," putting on a front in a way. I guess the hard part is determining the sincerity with which the how are you is presented so that we don't miss an opportunity to respond accordingly, to show our friends that we trust them, and to allow them to catch a little glimpse into our lives.

Another example:
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok."

It's ok?! So they can do it again and that would be alright with you?
Yea, I didn't think so.

We've become overly an apologetic people, always afraid of offending, always watching what we say, afraid of being politically incorrect or the dreaded i-word: intolerant. I won't even get started on this topic. I don't have the time and neither do you.

I guess the whole point of this rambling was to explain that I've been trying to overcome these poor communication incidents that have become the social norm.

So go ahead, ask me how I've been; tell me you're sorry.



I dare you.






What I should be doing: fastrack Physics 105, finding my floor, finding a job, finding myself
What I'm listening to: Ana Nalick, Sufjan Stevens, Rocky Votolato, Stars