My [not so glorious] Second Coming

After some quick decisions, last-minute paperwork and a couple of panic attacks, I have moved into the next phase of my life. I have left the parents' house once again to pursue the remainder of my education. It's an attempt to grow up I guess, but where did I end up?


Well, like all single Mormons, I find myself back in Provo.

It's the thing to do, you know.

And like most of my peers have discovered, I'm sure: it's not what I expected.


It's weird to be back.
I kind of feel like I just got back from a mission (how do you RMs do it?).
Things look different and feel different.
People are different.
And I still feel like I'm visiting.


I knew it wouldn't be the same as before. I knew that. I'm not dumb.
But it's hard to anticipate what the differences will be.


I find myself second-guessing my own knowledge of Provo's layout.

Is this really the way to get to Smiths?
Wait, where does Parkway meet Freedom?

And I keep hearing references to various apartment complexes/restaurants/etc that sound vaguely familiar, yet I cannot conjure up a mental image or actual memory. It's like I'm remembering them from another life, which I guess I am.

My Provo life was on pause while everyone else's continued to move forward.


I wander around the BYU campus in the hopes of finding a familiar face- one that's excited at the unexpected (yet simply delightful) experience of running into me. Yet each face that passes is just as unfamiliar as the last.


I have had the chance to get together with some old friends, but generally our conversations are more like those between strangers. Either they have to hear the whole story, or the watered-down-for-people-I-just-met version, and I'll give you a hint: the shorter one always wins out. I mean, how else can you explain the past year and half to somebody you haven't seen in 18-36 months?
This makes my relationships feel shallow and inadequate.

Sorry I'm boring.
Guess we'll never hang out again...

So I don't yet feel that I've accomplished the gloriously triumphant return I had anticipated.
But perhaps I'll wait a little more before I put that dream aside.
I'll hold out a little longer and see how things go.

I've still got my first round of exams,
and my hunt for employment,
and some friends to see,
and some unpacking to do.

So there are lots of opportunities for improvement.





What I should be doing: watching those videos for microbiology
What I'm listening to: the bed intruder song